Invisible disabilities

I know a little bit how these people feel..  Seems like every other person I disclose my AS to tells me that they don't "see" it. As if you should be able to.

Yes, I actually am in a catch 22...no, really, I am...

and I want my family to see that.  I function too well to be able to get myself on any kind of funding.  I can make a budget and stick to it, I can write a check, I can buy groceries, I know how to read a bus schedule and actually understand it.  I don't believe that I need funding as badly as this woman does, and I am definitely not as autistic as this man.  The only thing I still need to be able to live indepently is an income that's enough to support myself with.  I will never be able to get myself on disability, so I need for my family to stop trying to talk me into applying again, so I can concentrate on getting myself what I need; a life.  What makes me really angry and resentful about this is that the people closest to me are determinedly "Pollyanna" about all this.  They just assume that I will be able to get it.  Except for one problem: if I could get disability, I would be on it by now.  Not only that, there would be other aspies who are also on disability.  I don't know of anyone, diagnosed with Asperger's, who are on disability or ssi.  And believe me, I've looked.  I've looked to the point where I have to conclude that these people, who have AS and actually have funding, have faded into the wallpaper, or become invisible.  Or moved somewhere, and dropped off the map.

Just talking to myself, I guess....

I'm guessing that I can assume that nobody took me up on my challenge to find anybody with Aspergers who is on disability funding.  Not that I can really blame my family and friends for not taking it up, except for the fact that it was my family that started this whole thing in the first place, specifically my mother.  Not saying that the reason she started this was for some reason other than getting me "launched", but I am saying that she was looking in the wrong area for the resources that would help with that.  I have a better chance of winning the lottery and getting struck by lightning....TWICE....on the same day, than of ever getting a disability pension.  And it's not just me; this is a reality for many other aspies.  Many adult aspies are too old to access the resources that are there for aspies.  Seems like for all the other resources, we are just not autistic ENOUGH.  I haven't got a clue how to solve this problem, and I don't know who to blame, or even if anyone deserves to be blamed.  One thing that I do know, is that I must move on from this.  I have to somehow get myself into some aspie friendly profession, where eccentricity is allowed, reading social cues isn't all that important, and everything  doesn't all go to hell in a handbasket if I have a meltdown or four.

You know that story, or maybe it's a proverb....

about four, maybe five men, who were blindfolded, taken to an elephant, and asked to say what elephants are like, just from feeling different parts of its body, without ever having seen an elephant? I think autism is like the elephant.  Most people, upon finding out that I have Asperger's, do not believe me, because I'm no Kim Peek.  Odd that Peek's movie self was autistic, since Peek himself wasn't.  Anyways, I just wanted to say that Autism is like an elephant, having many sides.  It can be long and flexible, like the trunk, it can be thick and solid like one of its legs, or it can be curvy and high, like the side of the animal.  It can even be skinny, with hair at one end, like the tail, or thin and droopy, like the ears.

If you're going to tell me that I can and should get disability benefits....

by just claiming my Asperger's Syndrome, and even go so far as telling me that it would be stupid for me not to, than you're going to have to do something for me.  Provide me with evidence of someone with Asperger's Syndrome who is already getting disability benefits.  My requirements are only that this person must be living in Canada(I don't care where), he/she must actually have AS, NOT classic autism; they must also be able to speak in full sentences, and able to walk in a straight line; they must also be at or over 25 years of age.  I am making this challenge because I have just about had it with hearing, again and again, that I can and should get disability benefits, and that I am irresponsible for not trying, when the truth is, that I have tried, under pressure from my parents, more than once...I've tried three times, actually.  Each time, I've either been denied, or I've fallen through one of the many, many cracks that exist to screen out the scammers....except I'm no scammer.  Oh yeah, and I just found out that lots of other people, with Asperger's Syndrome, who are around my age and older, also have trouble getting help.  So really, my reality is, that even though I have trouble finding a job that I can actually DO, let alone support myself with, I still cannot get any kind of financial assistance or benefits.

Just because.

Killing time right now, so I thought I would post a link to this site that I kind of like.  A teacher told me about it, so I thought that I would pass it on.

A tip.....

if you are trying to sell somebody, anybody, on anything, particularly religion, and this person says that they're not interested, don't wait for a week or so and then rephrase what you said the first time, or say something like "We believe...." when said person already knows.  You not coming off as a concerned friend. You're coming off as a windbag and a bully.